Today, we celebrate the men in our lives who are fathers! And today, I’m celebrating myself. Over the years, I’ve learned that it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. It’s okay to recognize and honor the things you do every day—the late nights, the unseen efforts, and the sacrifices you make so others don’t have to. So, today, I’m doing something just for me.
For those reading this who might not know me, I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog. Blogging has become a therapeutic outlet for me, allowing me to express a side of myself that many who know me don’t often see. Maybe it’s because people are busy or just not interested. But today, I’m focusing on me.
Celebrating Myself
Tomorrow, I don’t plan on talking to anybody except my two little brothers who are also fathers. They mean the world to me, especially as we navigate our mother’s progressing dementia together. Her caregiving has taken a significant toll on us mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially. Thankfully, the foundation of faith instilled in me at a young age helps me stay grounded.
My Day of Self-Care
So, how am I going to celebrate myself? For starters, my two teenagers are in their rooms doing their own things. Tonight, I completed my fatherly duties by taking my 14-year-old daughter and her friend to a community fireworks show. I’ve also taken care of my mother’s nightly routine. With my heart heavy, I turned to writing, which has become therapeutic for me. Research has shown that writing can significantly reduce stress and improve mental health, which I can personally attest to.
You might wonder how celebrating myself involves turning my phone off and not talking to people. Well, as a single dad of two, working full-time, growing my business on the side, supporting others, and playing a significant role in my mother’s care, I need this day to recharge.
My Selfish Plans
First, I’m going to make myself a nice smoothie in the morning. Then, I’ll take my mother back to LA, about a two-hour drive without traffic. On the way, I plan to visit a new local coffee shop. I love exploring new coffee shops—they provide a sense of community that chain stores just don’t offer. According to studies, local coffee shops foster social interactions and community cohesion, which is something I deeply value.
After that, I’ll spend some time at my favorite bookstore in LA, “The Last Book Store.” I love the vibe there and prefer physical books over digital ones. Research indicates that reading physical books can improve comprehension and retention, making it a rewarding and enriching activity. I might stop at a beer garden for a craft brew—my favorites are amber or blonde ales. Finally, I’ll ensure my mother gets to her next location.
To end the day, I plan to watch the sunset at one of the beach cities in Southern California and enjoy a good fish meal. If time allows, I might visit the Griffith Observatory, a place I’ve been meaning to explore. Studies show that spending time in nature and enjoying sunsets can boost mood and overall well-being.
Reflection and Boundaries
As I close my Father’s Day blog to myself, I remind myself that I am where I am today because of my past efforts. Both personally and professionally, I’ve worked hard to get here. So, if you don’t hear from me today, know that I’m out being selfish and recharging. Feel free to reach out during the week—I’ll respond when I can.
I hope you enjoy this blog and join the conversation. How do you take time out for yourself? How do you practice self-care? Let’s continue the discussion.
Until next time, Dr. D
Dr. Darnell A. Durrah Jr. 