Dr. Darnell A. Durrah

Let’s be honest—nobody loves discomfort. Whether it’s walking into a room where you don’t quite fit in, making tough decisions as a parent, or stepping into a role that stretches your confidence, discomfort has a way of making itself known. Over the years, though, I’ve learned that discomfort isn’t something to fear—it’s something to use.

As a Black man, a licensed psychologist, and a single dad raising two teenagers, I’ve lived a life that constantly challenges my comfort zones. From being the only Black person in professional spaces to balancing the demands of fatherhood and career, I’ve had to learn how to turn those moments of unease into opportunities for growth. And let me tell you, it’s been a journey.

But here’s the thing: thriving in discomfort isn’t about being fearless—it’s about having a game plan. It’s about shifting your perspective, anchoring yourself in who you are, and leaning into those awkward, uncertain moments instead of running from them.

If that sounds easier said than done, don’t worry—I’ve been there. But these three strategies have made all the difference for me, and I think they can help you, too.

1. Anchor Yourself in What You Know

When discomfort creeps in, it’s easy to feel like you don’t belong. That’s imposter syndrome doing its thing, whispering, “You’re not good enough.” But let me tell you this: you didn’t stumble into this moment by accident. Your hard work, grit, and determination got you here, and no one can take that from you.

There have been so many times in my life—especially as a Black man in predominantly white spaces—when I’ve questioned whether I belonged. But then I remind myself: You’ve earned your seat at this table. Show up like it.

Tip: When you feel out of place, ground yourself in your accomplishments. Write down a few things you’ve achieved and keep them in your back pocket for moments when doubt creeps in.

2. Reframe Discomfort as Growth

Discomfort can feel like the enemy, but what if it’s actually your coach? It’s in those moments of challenge and unease that you grow the most. Every time I’ve stepped into something new—whether it was becoming a single dad or stepping into leadership roles—I felt the sting of discomfort. But I also learned how capable I truly am.

Raising two teenagers on my own has taught me more about patience, resilience, and love than any classroom ever could. And trust me, I’ve had my share of awkward dad moments along the way. But those challenges? They’re the lessons that make me better every day.

Tip: When discomfort shows up, ask yourself, What is this moment teaching me? Reframing challenges as growth opportunities can shift your entire mindset.

3. Prioritize Presence Over Perfection

Here’s a tough truth: trying to get it all “just right” will paralyze you. Discomfort has a way of making us overthink, overanalyze, and try to be perfect. But life isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, being real, and giving your best effort.

As a psychologist, I’ve worked with countless people who get stuck in the pursuit of perfection. I tell them the same thing I tell myself: Focus on doing your best right now. That’s enough. Parenting, working, living—none of it will ever be perfect, but the beauty is in the effort.

Tip: Let go of the idea of getting it all perfect. Instead, stay present and focus on what you can do today.

4. Trust God and Stay Consistent

Here’s the reality: none of us knows what the future holds. We can plan, strategize, and dream, but life has a way of throwing curveballs. I can’t say for certain where my journey will take me, or what challenges I’ll face next. But as long as God gives me breath, I’m committed to staying consistent.

Through the ups and downs, through moments of uncertainty, I believe that my purpose is to stay grounded and keep moving forward. Whether it’s in my career as a psychologist, raising my children, or simply trying to be the best version of myself, consistency is my anchor. It’s not about knowing every step ahead of time, but trusting that if I stay focused and continue showing up, I’ll be prepared for whatever comes.

I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this: my consistency, my faith, and my commitment to growth will carry me through.

Tip: Embrace the unknown with faith. As long as you stay consistent in your efforts, trust that life will unfold as it should.

Final Thoughts

Discomfort is never fun, but it’s always meaningful. It’s in those moments of unease that we grow, learn, and discover our strength. Whether you’re navigating career challenges, family dynamics, or personal growth, remember this: you’re capable of thriving, even when the road gets bumpy.

As a licensed psychologist, I’ve spent my career helping people turn discomfort into strength. If you’re ready to embrace your growth and find your balance, let’s connect.

Dr. Darnell Durrah
Licensed Psychologist
Helping men, fathers, and leaders turn challenges into opportunities for resilience and growth