Dr. Darnell A. Durrah

I can admit it: I haven’t always been great about staying connected. Life has gotten busy, priorities have shifted, and before I knew it, years passed without seeing family and friends who once felt like home. I’ve made excuses—distance, work, time—but the truth is, I could’ve done better. And I will do better.

Recently, my little brother started a family GroupMe thread to reconnect our large yet distant family. It’s been refreshing to see the text messages pop up and hear from relatives I haven’t spoken to in years. It feels good to be reminded of those connections, even if it’s just through the screen for now. It’s a step in the right direction, and while life still gets in the way, the effort to bridge that gap is something I can’t ignore.

I don’t want the next time I connect with someone I care about to be at a funeral, filled with regret over the years we lost. I want to reconnect now—while we still have time to share stories, make new memories, and build deeper bonds. Here’s how I’ll do it:

1. Reflect on Who Matters Most

I’ll take time to think about the family and friends I haven’t seen in years. Who do I miss? Who’s been absent in my life for too long? I’ll reach out, even if it’s just a text to say “I miss you” or “Let’s catch up.” It’s time to start rebuilding those relationships.

2. Take the First Step, No Matter How Small

Sometimes, I hesitate because I feel like too much time has passed. But it’s never too late to text someone and say, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you.” A simple message can be the bridge that starts rebuilding what’s been lost. I’ll make that first move, even if it feels awkward at first.

3. Plan In-Person Time

Texting is great for reconnecting, but nothing beats seeing someone face-to-face. I’ll make it a priority to visit family, meet friends for coffee, or even host a get-together. It’s about turning those virtual messages into real, meaningful moments.

4. Keep the Conversation Going

Reconnecting isn’t a one-time event. I’ll be intentional about staying in touch. Texts, calls, and even quick check-ins will keep the momentum going. I’ll show up—whether physically or virtually—to remind those I care about that they’re important to me.

I know I can do better, and I’m ready to start today. It’s not just about avoiding regret; it’s about honoring the relationships that have shaped me and continuing to grow together. The past may have been filled with missed opportunities, but the future is full of possibilities. Let’s make them count.

This isn’t just for me—it’s a call for all of us to do better. Let’s reconnect with the people who matter most. Share this message, send a text to someone you’ve been meaning to reach out to, and join the movement to reconnect before it’s too late. Life is short. Let’s not wait until we’re mourning to realize how important those bonds truly are. Together, we can make a difference by showing up for each other, every single day. And while not everyone may choose to participate in this journey, that’s okay too. It’s about doing what we can with those who are willing to meet us halfway.

A Tribute to My Grandparents

As I reflect on these thoughts of connection and family, I cannot help but honor the legacy of my grandparents: Leoma and Melvin Shephard, and Harrison A. Durrah Jr. and Frankie Durrah. Their love, strength, and wisdom shaped me in ways words cannot fully capture.

Leoma and Melvin Shephard taught me the importance of family ties, the power of unconditional love, and the value of making time for one another. Their home was a place of warmth, laughter, and an open door for anyone who needed it. They showed me that connection goes beyond proximity—it’s about showing up, being present, and supporting each other through thick and thin.

Although I never had the chance to meet Frankie, my grandmother, I’ve heard so many stories about her from those who loved her. Harrison A. Durrah Jr. and others in the family have shared memories of her kindness, strength, and grace. While I never got to experience her presence, I feel the impact of her legacy in the way our family is shaped—by her values, her love, and the bond she fostered within us.

In honor of my grandparents, I commit to being intentional about staying connected with those I care about. Their memory reminds me that the moments we share with the people we love are too precious to take for granted. Let’s do better—not just for ourselves, but for the legacy we leave behind.

Note About the Author
Dr. Darnell A. Durrah Jr. is a licensed psychologist with over 20 years of experience in behavioral health. He specializes in helping individuals, families, and communities overcome mental and emotional barriers to create lasting, meaningful connections. As a father and a son, Dr. Durrah is deeply committed to fostering stronger relationships within families, especially across generations. He is dedicated to moving beyond the pain and distance of the past to build a more connected, supportive future for himself and those around him.